I was abruptly shoved out of the room. The door nearly broke my nose as it slammed shut. “This is a mistake,” I tell myself. “I gave that situation everything I had! There is no way that it’s just over!”
Yet the door remains closed. By this time, I am rattled with anger, fear, resentment, and sadness.
“It wasn’t meant for you,” Father says gently. “You saw the signs, yet you kept trying harder. I was gently pulling you out of the situation, yet you refused to see that because you didn’t want to. You can give everything you have…everything you are….to a situation, but if it’s not meant for you it simply won’t work out.”
As I look down the narrow hallway, I see many closed doors. “What am I supposed to do now? Knock on each one of them? I don’t think so! I just gave everything I had! If my best isn’t good enough, what’s the point?” I say aloud.
“Have a seat, child. Take some time to absorb what just happened. What lessons did you learn? What signs did you ignore? How can this door shutting in your face make you a better person?” He says.
I think long and hard. I am in God’s waiting room. As the answers slowly form in my mind and heart, I am faintly aware of the realization that doors shutting aren’t always just about me. Maybe the other person in the situation was meant to learn something, too. Regardless, the door was shut and would remain so. I am healing, slowly but surely.
As I gaze down the hallway, I see a door slowly open a bit. I am curious, but I don’t want to put my everything into a situation and have another door slam in my face. Yet I have an overwhelming sense of peace about it, so I edge slowly towards the door.
I push my hand against the door and open it all the way. There are so many possibilities, and so much joy!
As I step through, I understand that yet again, I will give my all. I can’t do any less. It’s who I am and what God expects from me.
So another journey begins….